My Own Private Idaho / XXX
by Dominic Calderon
My Own Private Idaho
i want to be with the digital monkeys
dressed in a tiny tank top
in an orb
clipping through the pixelated sky
as i soar above the ocean
and spar with the capuchins
i want to dream of a train in salem, oregon
sliding across a body of ice
seat buckles removed
laughing as they become kaleidoscopic
i want to be treated as a little dog
too old
and too stupid to feed myself
i want nine babies and zero husbands
i want to drink an exotic smoothie
and night swim with somebody special
by special
i of course mean
someone who
yikes!
i am nothing but a can of
expired pineapple
XXX
everything is good, you thought,
as you reach into a damp styrofoam container to grab an undercooked french fry
the air conditioner was broken more often than not
but if you hit it at the right angle it would let out a brief sigh of exhaustion
sometimes he would look at you and his hair looked like a chia pet
this was enough, you thought
you went to a repertory screening of se7en at eight
by nine he made the joke
you know the one
the one your cousin would say as dollar store ginger ale dripped from his mouth
you hated puns but anything could be funny if the right person said it
the two of you made a pact to kill each other by 30
no one wants to be 30
by that point if you’re not rich
your life becomes open toe sandals and worrying about the dow
no one really wants to be 30
Dominic Calderon is a writer and film critic based in Arizona. He is currently working on a prose collection titled “Devil Worship” slated for release in 2021. He often thinks about riding a motorcycle with Takeshi Kaneshiro and getting back into birdwatching. He can be reached on Twitter via @ciroc_jon.
